(why I wanted to help orphans )…

We live in this world thinking about how our problems are the worst in the world. We forget that there is always someone else out there with worse problems than ours. If we have no problems at all, we think that the world is a happy place to live. We fail to see that there are people that haven’t been happy a day in their life. It’s important to see the world outside our own realm. We need to live our lives with a purpose, help others and give a little bit of ourselves.

I have seen so much pain in my lifetime. I have to live with the fact I lost my mother at a very young age. My father couldn’t afford to take care of my sister, brother and I. We had to live with friends of our father, where we were being physically and mentally abused. Although it hurt him so much, my father couldn’t place us anywhere else. So he told us to bear with him just a while longer. I remember telling him what the lady of the house was doing to us such as waking my sister and I in the middle of the night to wash her baby’s diaper, which in Africa it’s not a diaper like we have here in America, it is made out of cloth and every time you have to wash it and then use it again. It disgusted me so much and hated going to bed every night, because I know I am going to be woken up to do it all over again. She also used to hit us for the smallest mistakes. We would wash the entire family’s dirty clothes and dishes everyday using our little hands. She measured how much food we could eat. We were constantly hungry. I guess she felt that since we have no mother or family, it would be okay for her to treat us that way.

The only time she treated us nice and with respect was when my father came to visit us. Then she would be the nicest person. That’s when we would eat until we were full. I used to look forward for my father’s visits. I used to get so scared when his visits are over and he is leaving. The minute he leaves, she would go right back to her mean ways. I remember crying every day. It was a nightmare for me.

The bright side to this story is the fact that at least we had a father that cared enough to take us away from the hell we were in.

Imagine, orphans all around the world that have no one to rescue them like my fathers did to us. Without a mother and father, people especially in the developing countries would not see you as an existing human being. There is no one that would care enough to check on your well-being. Whether they have parents or not, children are children. They are still the hope and future of this world.

A couple of years ago, I had the opportunity to visit my home country of Ethiopia for the first time in 25 years. I had no expectation of what it will be like or what I will experience. When I got there, I loved the fact that I could see my people everywhere I went. I enjoyed seeing their faces and smiles. There were vast amounts of Ethiopians everywhere I looked. It felt like New York of course without the skyscrapers. But I loved the feeling of being around my people. In the midst of my enjoyment, I was also saddened by the amount of children in the streets begging wearing ripped clothes and old shoes or sometimes no shoes at all. I just felt helpless and overwhelmed. I didn’t know where to start. I wished so much to gather all of these innocent kids to my house and feed them, but of course it’s impossible for one person to do it all.

So I wanted to do something that is doable for me at the time. I asked my sister who is also a nurse, if she can take me to the orphanages around the city. She took me to a few of them and I started learning how they operate and ways they receive help. Looking at the orphans there reminded me of myself as that kid who was longing for her father’s presence and love. When they saw me, their faces lit up with smiles and they surrounded me. Each one of them asking me if I remember their names. I tried to make sure I memorized each one of their names. One thing I noticed was how they kept asking me “Zewdi, do you remember my name?” That says a lot to me. They wanted to be remembered and loved individually. They don’t want to be called as “The orphans”. They wanted to be known as a person with a name, an individual.

On the day of my visit, I made sure I connected with each one of them. I bought what I could afford for I hadn’t planned I would meet such beautiful and loving kids. I bought the girls what they asked for at the time which was hair oil and for the boys, they needed shoes. I also bought them some candies and cookies, which they were overly excited about. Although they needed a lot more than what I had bought them, that was what I could afford at the time.

A year later, I returned to Ethiopia just as I promised. This time, I am more informed about what they needed and made time to spend few days with them. They have told me that blankets, bed sheets and pillow were just some of the things they needed. So I worked extra hours and saved my money to be able to buy those things for them on my return visit. I was able to buy each one of them pillows and bed sheets. I was able to spend extra money to hire a full band to entertain these poor kids. They never had anyone do that for them in the past. They danced and laughed the entire day.

During this joyous occasion, couple of girls came to me where I was sitting and told me what they really need as girls. They were shy as they were telling me that they really need pads and if I could buy them some. One of them told me, that the older girls are old enough to know how to manage their periods, but it’s been hard for the younger girls. I just felt so happy that they felt close enough with me that they are telling me their inner most needs. They don’t have a mother or an aunt that they can tell this to. So I became that mother and aunt to them.

One of the orphaned girls came to me and told me about how she lost her parents. I have been told that she never talked to anyone before about her parents. She lost her mother to AIDS at the age of 8. Her father couldn’t take care of her because he went insane due to losing his wife and was put in psych hospital where he later died. She is 17 years old now. She feels lost in this world is what she told me. I made sure I connected with her and told her that she has a sister now and I will be there for her. I enjoyed seeing her smile. And what a beautiful smile that is too.

During my visit with these precious kids, I found myself not overwhelmed, which was surprising to me, because I normally would be in this circumstance. But for some reason, I just felt like I am the mother and I have to do whatever it takes to make them happy. I know it’s going to be hard especially in this economy. But I can’t let that stop me from being there for them.  I know that there are people out there that believe in me and would join me in this beautiful journey of putting hope and smiles in my kids’ faces. I have started a non-profit organization which is a 501(c) (3) called Have Hope Foundation. I have dedicated a part of my life to work hard to provide for them. I give them my promise that I will do my best to come every year and visit them and be there for them.

I understand that everyone has their own issues in their own lives, but I feel that there is more to life than just worry about one’s self. Let’s come out of our box that we call life and reach out to someone that is in worse shape than we are.